Failure to fail

This was an illuminating exercise: I got what were (for me) conflicting instructions: Make an ugly painting: Use whatever marks and colors you fancy, let loose, and notice the feelings.

Whatever colors I fancy -- well, these are the ones I fancy: shades of blue and yellow with black and white. And these guys almost always work together; I'm not sure it's possible to create an ugly painting in those shades.

Letting loose turned out to be using lots of different tools in mostly circular, sweeping motions, which was great fun and very satisfying. Which is amusing to me, because I tend to see those kinds of motions and the results they give on canvas as "feminine," which means I tend to avoid them for fear of producing art that seems "too girly."

And now I'm wondering: where on earth did THAT judgment come from?  I have to assume it's my mom (who was such a staunch feminist she didn't even let me wear pink until I was 12!).

But those sweeping circular motions give me so much pleasure I find myself wondering if I shouldn't be working on much larger canvases... Something to tackle, I suppose, when I get into my new studio...

The other interesting thing was those leaves in the corner: I'm so convinced I can't draw that I've been determinedly refusing to include anything that smacks of realism in my work (other than the inevitable water and sailboats, which just have a way of sneaking in when I'm not looking.) But I think they're my favorite part of the picture!

I did throw three triangles into the lower right (the sailboats surfacing again) but they looked more like calligraphy than sailboats -- as does the white figure on the left. I'm thinking it may be time to take a calligraphy class, or perhaps begin to study kanji, as a way of channeling those brush strokes a bit. I'm wondering if my problem with marks could be resolved if I made them with brushes instead of pens... an unfortunate thought, given that I've just purchased some new pens and pencils geared to mark making...

Only two more days until I start packing up my studio: It's going to be hard to stop working like this. I've bought some watercolor paper and paint so I can keep my hand in during the transition; hopefully that will enable me to keep learning.