What can you live with?

As usual, this one started out to be something else; I was endeavoring to put a range of colors on the canvas with a different kind of brush, distributing blocks of color around the canvas in different sizes,  and then I had planned to add lighter color marks in a smaller brush over top of things.

The blocks of color seemed to be working okay, but the mark-making was just... off; I didn't like the shapes, the sizes, the colors... so I got out my trusty sponge and began smearing things together to smooth out and remove the marks, but instead the whole canvas got lots lighter and monochromatic.

Which meant I needed to get out the water and spray off all the light stuff to expose the blocks of color I liked underneath. And in the end what I got was this sort of mystical down-in-the-bayou damp spanish moss kind of look -- not exactly typical for me, but once I added the dark blue in the lower right corner and the little bits of Indian yellow, I actually liked it.

So I'm calling it Low Country Morning, and I don't think I'll add a thing.  That sort of yellowish section in the middle seems to me to be crying out for a little more definition, but I can't think of anything to add that wouldn't look contrived, so I'm just going to leave it.

... And isn't that a life lesson: that sometimes -- not always, but sometimes -- inaction and silence may well be the best response? As a people pleaser, there are certainly times when I have found myself stammering justifications when in fact I could more effectively have accomplished my objectives by simply keeping my mouth shut.

We do not have to control everything: sometimes (and this has proven to be a challenge for me) we can let the blank spaces on the canvas have a voice of their own. I think that's a lot of what my work throughout this quarantine has been: to both develop a vocabulary AND to allow for more silence. I think that's what I like most about yesterday's piece, and the one from May 17th: they have both an articulate vocabulary and some moments of silence. I wonder if those pieces appeal more to an introvert, and the busier pieces like this one appeal more to extroverts? I don't know the answer to that one, but I do feel like those two pieces have a confidence that this one lacks.

... which doesn't mean I don't like it. It's just not a piece I'd want to hang in my own home; it feels timid. But that's a good question, isn't it: when am I going to paint pieces I'd want to hang in my own home? and of all the pieces I've done since this blog began, which would I be willing to live with? Right now, today? Probably only April 12th and 24th, May 17th, and May 19th. I've actually already painted over several of the others. Curious. I may need to think about this some more. What do I love to paint, versus what would I love to live with. Such a good question!