Overwhelmed and discouraged

Feeling cranky about a number of projects I've assigned that aren't getting done has clearly been affecting my creativity levels, so today I just played in the studio, experimenting with some new tools and ideas on small poorly re-gessoed canvases.

It's nice, I suppose, not to expect any positive results from my labors, but it's a lot of cleanup whether or not I actually use the final work. And some part of me -- the part my husband casually referred to the other day as my inner skinflint -- hates to use time, paint, and water for "nothing."

So clearly the Edison attitude I mentioned yesterday hasn't taken any kind of firm deep hold on me; it's quite overpowered by the need to produce -- and to conserve.

Sigh.

Some of the issue is lack of sleep, to be sure -- I was up late last night and early this morning dealing with a WordPress problem that was prohibiting my husband from publishing the latest episode of the Bainbridge Stay at Home Companion, a sweet little podcast being put out by our local theater company. So maybe the smart thing to do at this point is just to take a nap. And I should give myself points for fixing the WordPress issue, right? Maybe when the left brain has to work the right brain is justified in shutting down for a bit?

We who are dealing with a whole new world need to give ourselves permission to have unproductive days.  As the death counts (and Michigan flood waters) continue to rise it's okay to feel a little overwhelmed, a little discouraged. I used to say "This, too, shall pass," but the scary projections of climate change and the denial of Those In Charge around these issues leave me wondering if that's even true any more. What sort of world have I brought my children into?