Emptying out our intentions

I seem to have become obsessed with white: yesterday I painted three old canvases white in anticipation of the work I planned to attempt today.

And I think I’ve figured out, with the help of today’s reading in Mark Nepo, why this is so: to quote him, “All forms of prayer and meditation are aimed at keeping the center of the I empty, so the miracle of life in its grace and immensity can enter and heal us.”

(Note: that bit about "the center of the I" is meant to echo the way in which the pupil, the center of the eye, is actually the opening through which all learning flows. Or something like that; I'm paraphrasing a bit here...)

So, no, I'm not keeping the center of the canvas empty, but in looking at other artists' work I realize I am always drawn to the ones with a lot of white: I think of it as sort of room for growth...

At any rate, I was awakened at 6am this morning (not good, given that I had trouble falling asleep last night) by a vision of a painting, and so I just had to get up. What you see here was meant to be the beginning of that painting, which would then have had strips of newsprint about the pandemic applied over much of it, with some whiting out applied after that, but I liked this so much I decided to stop here.

I mean, it's amazing how much more I like my work when I loosen up and let go of my intentions; let my body and heart guide the brush instead of my brain.

It's funny: my husband always laughs and talks about how our kids didn't always learn what we expected or wanted them to learn from their various experiences. So I don't think what I'm meant to learn here is to let go of my intentions; rather, I'd like to think the lesson here is to listen to your dreams but not to fixate on them: they may just be a way of moving you in a direction you need to pursue; some place where something completely unexpected may be waiting for you.

CoVid is surely more of a nightmare than a dream, but I take some consolation in the thought that it may be shifting us to another path, a path where something unexpected and possibly amazing may be waiting for us. I just hope I live long enough to get there!

Learnings: Now this is new. This piece was a significant turning point.
                   I like lots of white.
                  Water helps to create transparent layers.
                  Teal and turquoise work well together.
                  A little Nickel Azo goes a LONG way.