Confronted with obstacles
It took a surprisingly long time to "get it right" in that corner: a misguided attempt to smooth it all out didn't look right given all the texture in the rest of the painting, and it took a while to achieve a mix of shades that worked for me; fitting in, not standing out too much.
Harking back to the first note in this series, I see that's a common theme: fitting in, not standing out too much. How do I achieve enough contrast to make things interesting without making things look arbitrary or forced?
Or -- to make it a life question for those of us who moved frequently as children -- how to blend in gracefully with your new schoolmates or community, while still remaining interesting and different enough so folks want to get to know you? Certainly it's easier to do that in some communities -- and relationships -- than others, and it seems to me that's a lifelong quest: not just to find a balance that works for you, but to find relationships and community that don't require you to soften or smudge too much of yourself; to find people and places receptive to your own unique textures...
Thinking about what a struggle that can be -- especially when confined in tight quarters as we all are these days -- I find that today I'm seeing something different in this painting; a person escaping the darkness only to confront a fairly resolute obstacle. And though I have my own particular interpretation of how that's playing out in my life right now, I can imagine tons of people are feeling that way, with various fears -- of illness, or hunger; poverty, or loneliness -- pressing in on them, with the door to relief having suddenly closed.
We live in challenging times. Let's be kind to one another.
Learnings: Small palette strokes are too busy. I prefer a larger or smoother stroke.
I wish azurite blue came in fluid acrylics... It's a blue I really like.
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